what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
