I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
