just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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