she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
