I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
