What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
