I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
