You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
