I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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