If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
