It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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