i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
