if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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