just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
