Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
