At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't deserve a penis
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
