He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
