rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So many bounce houses so little time
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
