therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
