i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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