I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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