I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
