If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
