she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
