pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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