I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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