grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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