I'm going to jail i love you
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
