im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it hurts more in the daytime
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
