the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
