For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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