I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
