Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
