you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
