you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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