I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
