Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
wow bdsm is so cute
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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