I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
