The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize