I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
