Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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