i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
