my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The air taste purple.
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