Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She is in my trunk
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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