Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
