This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
