everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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