I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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