Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This house was built for laser tag.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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