I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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