Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
