Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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