how can u be prego again
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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