Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize