HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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