you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm at about main and main street
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
