what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
