she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You ate ashes out of my bong
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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